My laptop crashed on Wednesday and would not turn back on. I had a paper and a presentation due that afternoon.

Spent the day holed up in the media lab typing up my paper. Luckily, I was able to get a one-day extension on my assignments.

And here I am, still trying to finish my presentation before I take off for the airport in six hours.

I am too reliant upon technology. Things need to change.

Looks like my motivation jumped out the window. As usual.

I really need to get this whole notion of “I work so much better under pressure” out of my system. This is BS.

One paper for German Lit. One presentation about press freedom in Latin America.

I can do this. I will be done with this quarter by 4 p.m. tomorrow.

Seat secured in the only comfy dining room chair? Check.

Headphones to block out annoying housemates? Check.

Sufficiently burrito-ed in a fuzzy blanket? Check

French press at the ready? Check.

Quesadilla, strawberries and almond butter, and hummus ready? Check.

General feelings of dread for the morning? Double check.

Short term goals I can actually commit to:

• Finish my supposed “poem” and (finally) submit it to girlvswhale’s writing shindig
• Update my website and actually write a decent “About Me” page
• Take a long walk tomorrow afternoon, rain or shine
• Try to make it through the next week

I am glad this week is over.

Time for me to eat cake and judge myself as I fail to analyze and articulate my thoughts regarding “Dämmrung senkte sich von oben” and German poetry in general.

After a very long conversation about tattoos with one of my high school friends, I have been poring over a number of Pacific Northwest tattoo artists’ portfolios. The research is mostly going towards a future piece.

My one complaint: I really wish more tattoo artists posted pictures of their script tattoos. They might not be as interesting to look at as full-blown pieces, but it would be nice to have an idea of what artists can/have done.

Come June, my promise to my parents to not get tattoos while attending university will have been fulfilled. 

Then, I can finally indulge this tattoo bug of mine.

At least there is one thing to look forward to in June.

Things currently keeping me sane:

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• Swing dancing

I am feeling more than a little burned out. 

Shitty things about being overwhelmed with work:

• Missing out on swing dancing
• The whole having a butt-ton of work to do thing

Nicer things about staying home on a Sunday night:

• Hanging out/doing homework with the housemate I never see
• Coming to terms with some of the stressors in my life

I need a moment to whine about things.

• All of my sources for my story have fallen through, leaving me with nothing.
• Probably going to get a shitty grade on my first final draft story of the year. Better luck next time, hopefully.
• I cannot for the fucking life of me find my house keys.
• General shitty feelings.

/whining

Mildly meh things that happened today:

• Waking up early after spending the part of the night attempting to write a TV review (and failing miserably)
• Getting kind of lectured by my editor about research I apparently glazed over. I totally understand why the talk happened, but it just left me feeling kind of shitty…especially because all that research had to be fit into two or three days.
• Half-assing my TV review right before class. I cannot believe I failed to coherently write about Sherlock.
• Getting attacked by the cat.

Things that made today better:

• Getting my Entrepreneurial Journalism readings out of the way earlier
• Going to my Lindy Hop class
• Finding out that another of the editors at my internship really liked the short article I wrote for her. There weren’t any major edits other than a bit more organization. Thank goodness.

I need a moment to whine.

Here is what my schedule looks like until December:

• Mondays: classes from 9-2, intern (at home) 2:30-5:30, work 5:45-8:30
• Tuesdays: intern (downtown) 8:30-12:30, class 1:30-2:30, work 5-7, dance class 8-9
• Wednesdays: classes 9-2, intern (downtown) 2:30-5:30, breathe
• Thursdays: intern (downtown) 8:30-12:30, class 1:30-2:30, work 6-8:30
• Fridays: “floating” day at internship, class 12:30-2, breathe
• Saturdays: breathe, potentially cover assignments for my internship
• Sundays: work 9-12, breathe, swing 9-12:30 a.m.

Add on schoolwork and repeat.

Swing dance is the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Thankfully, I like what I am doing. I enjoy my classes and my major and I have a great internship, but I have a shit job, for the most part.

I just need to remember to breathe and budget my time wisely.

But right now, I just feel exhausted. Here’s to hoping I won’t just be working for the weekend…again.