Matzo ball soup and girl talk.

This makes the rest of my crappy week better.

So somehow I am now twenty years old and a senior in UW’s Journalism program. When did that happen?

As I mentioned in my last written post, I am graduating in just under ten months. I am grateful that my parents convinced me to transfer to the high school I graduated from so I could get a year of university taken care of without the near-$40k tuition. All the same, I am sad/nervous/blah that I am not taking the full four years to complete university. However, I am excited that I will be breaking my way into the industry just a bit ahead of my peers. (Now I just need to figure out how I am going to do that.) Lots of mixed feelings, as you can see.

In the coming months, I need to start hunkering down to begin kicking my age-old habits of procrastination and unnecessary stressing-out. Will they completely go away? No, definitely not. Now, however, I do not have the excuse of being a teenager to defend my bad habits. Thus, changes must be made.

This coming quarter, seeing as I have a job, an internship, and will be attending university full-time, I will need to throw myself full-force into my work. It is going to be rough.

In my remaining month of summer, I need to start working on promoting myself via a personal professional website, LinkedIn, Twitter, and all that other good stuff. I need to get cracking on all of that. On top of those tasks, I need to start working with my camera more outside of my internship. I never really took the time to figure out all the mechanics and skipped right ahead to snapping pictures and happening to get lucky.

So much to do.

• Seeing my closest childhood friends and having ridiculous late-night talks in front of “our” Starbucks. 
• Driving down to eat Cha Cha Chicken on the beach with two of my favorite people.
• Hanging out with My Old Man, who is indeed getting quite old.
• Spending time doing errands with my Lola, who is as spry as ever.
• Finally seeing my best friend for the first time in a year and having our usual reassuring long talks and driving around aimlessly.
• Hanging out with my cousins and doing “stupid things” and having serious conversations about life and relationships.
• The Getty Museum, which I will finally be going to on Saturday.
• Revisiting old haunts.

The not-so-nice bits:

• It is usually over 100º where I live. Jesus Christ in a waffle cone. I cannot deal with it. My only consolation is that it isn’t humid here.
• Kind of missing Seattle.

Today was…good.

That was exactly what I needed. Really.

• Study and kick ass on my second Law midterm
• Start reading Supreme Conflict for Law
• Stop being such a whining, blubbering mess
• Stop dwelling on the whole “what the hell am I going to do with my life?” thing.
• Cook more and bake cookies, simply for my own sanity
• Avoid time-suck that is the internet and spend more of my free time writing, drawing, or playing music

Aaaaaaand GO!

I do not dislike Mondays as much as I loathe Sunday nights. Despite starting on work on Fridays, I usually still have a pile of work to do during the last bit of my weekend.

And so I shall have do some momentary procrastination.

• I am writing my first article for The Daily at UW. Transcribing is a bitch and now I do not even want to look at the bits I have written anymore. But it will be finished up by the end of tonight, I swear.
• I have to do a fuckload of make up work for German tonight too. Ich bin gestresst. (I honestly do not know if that is an accurate translation of the phrase, but whatever.)
• My room is a disaster. I cleaned it on Friday, but because I live in a cubbyhole, it looks like a hurricane hit it the second I put my books or schoolbag on the floor.
• I still do not have a job, despite all the effort I have been putting into doing follow-ups and continuing my job searching.
• I am still mad at myself for not buying tickets to The National earlier this month. Stupidstupidstupid.
• Fucking hell…this article.
• This quarter is becoming more and more difficult as it goes on. But that was expected.
• I am beyond stressed. I desperately need to learn to manage my time (and in doing so, my stress) much better. I need some yoga in my life right now.

And in happier news…

• Listening to Fleet Foxes is putting me in a better mood.
• I have started on my newest beanie, which is already much better looking than my first attempt.
• I had sushi last night (eel, nom nom) and was able to visit and laze around with a bunch of friends that I do not see as often as I would like. (The only thing I miss about the dorms is having a lounge constantly full of friends.)
• Reassuring late night talks.
• B. decided to make me breakfast this morning. With his horrible luck in other people’s kitchens, a small fire broke out on our stove. The house did not burn down and the eggs were still tasty, so all is well.
• We also went to get doughnuts from the little place by my house, which reminds me of the S&S back home. The creme in the chocolate creme-filled was so nummy. Now I want more. Fuh.
• Yogurtland exists.
• My friends are hosting a Halloween party next weekend. I still need to find a costume…

If you could not tell from my last few posts, I have been a bit stressed, to say the least. Things are going a bit better now, thankfully.

B. took me out for Thai food last night, which was appreciated after my incredibly hectic day. After getting back to my house, I washed up and found him playing my acoustic guitar (which I desperately need to learn to play) in my room. Cuddling and tired talking ensued. Last night made my week so much better.

(Sappy McSappenstein, I know.)

Adding to my lovely Thursday, Arae gave my bangs a much needed trim, so now they are all blunt and cute looking. I was also able to spend some time with her, Teeny, and Sarah.

I also received some great news: I was accepted into Daily 101, a once-a-week “class” which will allow me to write for The Daily, UW’s student newspaper (and eventually get paid for it, too)! After my Multimedia Lab this morning, my TA, whom I have had for a different Communications course, congratulated me for making it into Daily 101 and told me that he recommended me to the editor. What a sweet guy!

As for today, I am supposed to hear back from Urban Outfitters about whether or not they have decided to hire me. Seriously crossing my fingers. If it does not work out, that just means more job hunting for me. Woo.

After my Daily 101 meeting, I have plans to hang out with the boys and Abbibi tonight so we can watch Wallace and Gromit.

Thank goodness it is the weekend.

• I am currently sitting in Suzzallo Cafe having a cupcake and tea whilst waiting for my work shift to start in forty five minutes.
• Before cupcake-ing, I went to a meeting for new journalism majors. In the near future, I will have to decide which concentration I will want to take. I am currently between Civic/Public Engagement and Global Affairs/Development.
• I applied to be a writer for UW’s The Daily. Considering how late into the quarter it is, I probably will not get onboard until autumn quarter.
• I do not understand doing Bible study in the middle of a school day. Then again, I have never been particularly religious.
• I have been on a card making spree as of late with all the birthdays and Mother’s Day coming up.
• Recommended listening of the day: The National’s High Violet. It is brilliant and very fitting for a gloomy day like today. Matt Berninger’s voice is just….gaaahhh.
• This cupcake still does not compare to a Sprinkles dark chocolate. :(
• I am quite sad that I will not get to spend quite as much time with friends from home because of semester and quarter system differences.
• I miss everyone.
• I have yet to go back to my dorm. Classes from 10:30 to 2:30, meeting from 3:00 to 4:30, work from 5:30 to 8:30, and an essay and homework to begin once I get back. Sounds fantastic.
• Cuddles will definitely be demanded from my boy when I am finished with everything.

I will get the big news out of the way first: I am officially a journalism major! I received my acceptance e-mail yesterday afternoon. I wish it was a physical letter, but hey, I will take what I can get. I cannot quite explain how excited I am. The past couple of months I have been seriously questioning what I want to do here in Seattle. This acceptance into my department—I can actually say my department now—was honestly the self-confidence renewal I needed.

Aside from this, life is still going well.

A few friends and I will be signing our lease sometime this week for our townhouse for next year. I am so stoked to not be living on campus next year. Having an actual house means having a kitchen to cook in! Though it does not sound like it, being able to cook my own food was a huge contributor in finally convincing my mother to let me move out from the dorms. I will have my own room (thank goodness), live with close friends, have a ten minute walk to campus, and a five minute walk to Trader Joe’s. Excited is a bit of an understatement.

In other news, the weather in Seattle is finally warming up. The sun has been out pretty much all week, condoning spring cardigan-wearing again. The funny part of sunny days here is that people do not take it for granted. Coming from southern California where the sun is ever-present, a blue sky day is not really a big deal. Here though, when the sun comes out, the quad is filled with students playing Frisbee, picnicking, and laying out to enjoy the moment of sunlight.

Seattle spring is absolutely gorgeous—the nickname of “Emerald City” is no misnomer. I will have to post some pictures at some point.

That is all, really. I am content.

I have realized my creativity kicks in at some of the most inopportune times. Currently, I am approaching the end of winter quarter at university with finals just a little over two weeks away. While I should be studying for my last introductory Communications and Astronomy courses and writing my final ethnography paper for Anthropology, all I want to do is make things.

I want to get back into painting and figure drawing and go to the pottery room and mess around with clay. I follow quite a few DIY and crafting blogs and I am just itching to make things—jewelry, room decor, post cards, new journals, and resurrecting and editing old clothes. I want to play violin constantly (but haven’t because my current strings are dead and sound screechy and I am too broke to buy new ones). My current notebook is filling up fairly quickly between lectures as I have been pouring in ideas and decent one-liners that have potential to develop into something interesting. My stress is producing creativity, which is fantastic, but currently inconvenient with all the work I have to do. Damn.

I am also hoping to get into a digital photography course for spring quarter as photojournalism has piqued my interest as of late. Well, that and the fact that I need a creative outlet that ties into school somehow. So photography would be quite nice considering my camera has not seen the light of day since the beginning of the quarter. But of course, the art department at my university is restricting classes to intended art majors, which means I will be crashing the class to try to get a spot.

I am beginning physical therapy today in hopes of strengthening the muscles around my ankle so I can run and walk like a normal human again. Went out to a fancy restaurant with friends this weekend. The waiter may have recognized that we were starving college students, so there was a mass amount of bread. My crab cakes were fantastic. Or they were until my boyfriend tried a bit and had an allergic reaction. Then the running joke for the rest of the evening was that I was trying to poison him. Cute.

The same group of friends and I are also hoping to go see a play this coming weekend after our failed attempt the last.

So yes, life is pretty decent aside from the creative rut.

It is supposed to rain the rest of the week (with a possibility of snow tomorrow). The wind chill is slowly killing me.

Finals allowed me to achieve that balance between socializing and studying that I have been lacking as of late. As a result of this, I am fairly sure that I earned at least a B+ on my German final. The only real iffy part of the exam was the essay portion. It was on Patriotismus (patriotism) and its positive and negative affects on society. …Right. But yes, I am proud that my eight hours of studying and hermitting paid off.

I have my Communications final tomorrow morning and then my Sociology of Sexuality final on Tuesday. I am only ever so slightly worried for those.

I am still in love with Seattle—all of its green, the overcast, the beautiful lookout spots beneath the bridges. I love living so close to the water. The skyline over Lake Washington is absolutely beautiful at night. I love that I can hop on a bus and go wherever the hell I feel like. I love the long walks I get to go on during the day. The solitude can be so very lovely. I also had the second best ice cream of my life last weekend. It was coffee bean with fudge on top from Molly Moons. So. Good. Gah.

While there is that peaceful solitude here, I am also surrounded by a bunch of great people. It still feels funny how we have only known each other for four months, more or less. I am so lucky to have found people I can be close to here.

I also get cuddles just about every night, which makes me a content human. But then I get raspberries blown into my shoulders and stubbly scritches against my neck. Playful glares and then getting puppy dog looks in return. Damn him for knowing my weaknesses.

Debauchery planned for Wednesday night. Hell yes.

In other news, I will be flying back home in five days. Adventures and so many reunions to come.

I am completely content.

I flew into Burbank airport two nights ago. The drive back was odd—going through tunnels I once drove through on a regular basis, familiar freeway signs, the billboards, the tanned hills along the highway to my hometown.

And then we hit home.

It is strange. I am not sure what or if I was expecting things to change, but it just felt as if I had woken up from an odd dream. Being home again was surreal—nothing had changed, everything the same as when I left, save a few strings of Christmas lights.

Time seems to move slower here. I cannot articulate it properly, but it does. But come to my house and it is a different story. My dad has not been well as of late. He has been in and out of the hospital for the past month or so and it has been hard having to deal with that all the way in Seattle. My dad and I are very close, so leaving was hard. Being back here in California, I thought things would be the same, but they are not.

He seems to have grown older while I have been gone. His face is more serious and the age lines run deeper. He shakes now. While I have been gone, he really did turn into an old man, physically at least. But he is proud—he hates having people helping him along and when he realizes that he does need help, he asks so begrudgingly. He is quiet and he curls up on the couch when we have company.

It is hard to see him this way and because of this, it is hard being home.

Things need to start turning up back home.

This is when I begin wishing Los Angeles was just a short drive away.

I am not happy that I am already feeling this way.

On a lighter note, I am going to a show this week with some of the floor family. It feels much needed at this point. Narg.

Thus far, college has been an experience. A good one, for sure. I became fast friends with a group of people on my floor and we spend our nights inhabiting the lounge and nerding out and having conversations about food, culture, Tracy’s (possibly, possibly not) drunken musings, relationship dynamics, and whatever else comes to mind. Mostly nerding though.

I do not know how many times I have said this, but I seriously live in one of the loveliest places in the States. I love this place.

Earlier this week—or perhaps last week?—not sure as I am beginning to lose track of time. Anyway. Sometime ago, I received a text from Maddie saying: “Dis sounds weird, but since you have moved to Washington it seems as if you have grown lovelier. :D okay, done being creepy.” Not only was it an overall cute text (mostly because I can totally imagine the voice she would say that in), but I think it is pretty true.

I can honestly say that I have not felt this good in a long time. I feel lovelier. I really do. I don’t know why. All I do know is that I have not looked into the mirror and felt that sinking feeling in over a week now, which is damn good.

As much as I do love my home of southern California, I do feel a lot of negative vibes when I am there. There is always this feeling of extremely high expectations and this unreasonable standards that I always wanted / felt obligated to achieve.

Awhile ago I wrote about traveling and personal reinvention. Having moved to Seattle, I was given the chance to make changes. Granted, they were all small changes, but I still feel like they have made such a difference. My moving did not make me revert back to the Chicago shitstorm of 2009, which quite honestly, I was really afraid of that happening again.

Things have definitely started looking up again.

Thanks for being good to me thus far, Washington.